Domestic Violence

Have a New You
By Friday

Ok, so by now I am sure you are wondering what the link up above for 'Domestic Violence' is all about.  Well, I grew up in a not so friendly environment, and I would like to leave it at that.  As you can guess that specific enviornment has done some damage emotionally and mentally to me.  I have a temper unfortunately and I have been working on that for a while, until I discovered something just recently.


Something that I find really beneficial for me is not just reading about subjects but learning from people that have been through the same situation as me.  And, well, if you have had a rough childhood and have anger issues I hope that what has worked for me works for you!

I have read so many self-help, de-stress, anger-management, patience, parenting, simplicity and marriage books it would make your head spin.  That really is not an exaggeration.  I actually really enjoy those type of books.  Knowing that I am bettering myself for myself and my family makes every one of those books desirable to me.  With that being said, something that has been in the self-help/anger-management books is the 'count to 10 and walk away type of stuff'.  This is the type of stuff that you learned in elementary school.  Well, for me that stuff DID NOT make sense to me.  I would be fine and all of a sudden I would blow up even over something little.  This did not make sense to me.  Even before I could 'follow the signs of what my body was doing' I was already at exploding time!

Ok, so here's the kicker, my problem was that I was ALWAYS frustrated.  I didn't know that I BECOMING frustrated because I was ALREADY frustrated.  It hit me one day while I was trying to get 'T's shoes on.  He kept running from me and all I wanted to do was go to the library.  So, I finally got to him and was putting his shoes on when I said, and I quote, "I am getting so frustrated!"  And, there it was.  I finally, for the first time in my entire life felt myself getting frustrated.  The feeling was already so familiar to me that recognizing it was hard.  Growing up in a rough environment desensitized me to that feeling.  Even when I thought I was not frustrated and was having a great day, I was already frustrated because I could find myself yelling over miniscule things.

So, here's what I have to say you don't have to like it, you don't even have to read this.  However, if you are a mother or father and your spouse physically abuses, punches, hits, screams, verbally abuses or calls your child names.  It is SELFISH, yes I said it, SELFISH for you to stay with that spouse.  IN FACT, if you stay with that spouse you are abusing that child as much as the other spouse if not more.  Why?!  Because, you are telling the child that what the spouse says/does to that child is TRUE.  By you staying with that spouse it means that you agree with them, whether you say it not.  ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!

To get back to the 'Domestic Violence' link at the top of my blog, that is a quiz for you to take.  I encourage you to take the quiz, just see what your answers are.  Whether you think you are in a rough/scary environment, just take the quiz.  See what it says, it's confidential and I have no access to any of the answers.  The quiz does not ask for any personal information. 

This quiz saved my life, let is save someone else's.  PLEASE!

One of my favorite books is up above.  Dr. Kevin Leman writes some pretty awesome books!  I have read almost every one of them, his writing is easy to read and easy to understand.  I feel more like I am having a conversation to someone when I read his books.  They are great I highly recommend 'Have a New You By Friday'!