Temper Tantrum Advice

Simplicity Parenting

Now, I know that I am not a 'specialist' when it comes to children.  However, I do know that when you have a bunch of choices, or a bunch of ideas.  You have a tendency to not stress out as much.  And, the reason is if one choice/idea does not work you can move on to the next.  From my experience when you have a child that is getting quite upset over something and you can see things flying in the near future.  Having a few choices/ideas up your sleeve helps you to 'cool down' the situation pretty quickly.

Beyond the Sling

My son 'T' is at that defiant age.  I can see a temper tantrum coming from a mile away and most of the time I can redirect him.  One of my favorite ways of redirecting him is picking him up and saying quietly and calmly, "Take a deep breath".  And, I slowly breath with him.  I remove him completely from the situation that is going on at that moment by carrying him away to a different room/area.  Once he is calmed down I then ask him what is it that he wants/wanted, or, what is it that you want me to do.  The first thing I worry about is trying to get him to calm himself down before he gets too upset.  I am trying to teach both of my kids that getting so upset that you yell, scream and cry so hard that you cannot even talk is not the way to go.  I let my kids know that when they are crying I cannot understand them.  Now, I do not yell at them nor do I mock how they are feeling.  My goal is to try to get them to learn to calm themselves down before they get so upset they blow up.  This teaches them to 'listen' to their body by saying, "You are angry/sad/hurt/upset right now, take a deep breath."  It's really cute, because right now 'T' takes deep breaths before he gets upset sometimes, meaning that what I am doing is working. 

I have been doing this method for several months.  It works quite well, and it teaches my kids that they are allowed to feel the way they feel.  However, even though you feel a certain way does not mean that you can behave like a wild animal.  For the most part, most of the redirecting works out to my advantage.